the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
