she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize