she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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