dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just had sex on a roof
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
