we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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