My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
okay pat passed out under dana's car
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
