so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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