Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
