Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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