Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize