She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
and she was petting her beer can
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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