This girl is more easily done than said...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
