she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
