you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
