not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
