have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
