so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
