so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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