Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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