The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My dick has a subreddit
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
