I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize