thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize