all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize