we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
