i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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