I must be too annoying 4 u.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize