Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
