So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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