Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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