he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
