omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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