to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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