Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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