when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
