remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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