shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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