he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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