I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
