singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
false alarm, still single
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