There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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