Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
