bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
