you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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