He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
