3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
