Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize