Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
