I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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