in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
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