thus making me awesome and them whores
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
