I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
