Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
