On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
