I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
