Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
