Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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