I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
