omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
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