I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
