Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
