PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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