I'm jealous of your bromance
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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