is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
