Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
