Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
