Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Actions speak louder than pants.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
