Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
