Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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