Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
