with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
