I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
