don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
How does one acquire holy water?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
