I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
