u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
