just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
