If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
