Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
