the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
