Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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