jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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