didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
