did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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