I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
