grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
