I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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