Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
he just fucked me for my cheese..
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
