Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
