What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
