i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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