i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
