I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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